This is a “gentle” adventure, noble level, ice age map, as Catherine the Great. I intend to start conquering as early as possible and just keep going. To make it a bit different for me personally, I will do it without building any wonders. Except the Kremlin. I am Russian, after all.

I found Moscow on the spot and send the scout off to explore.

My first build in Moscow is a worker and my first research choice animal husbandry. After animal husbandry the worker will hook up the sheep. As this is an ice age map, all food resources will help. If I have horses, I’ll build chariots and send them out to conquer whoever’s closest. The scout pops another scout, who shortly pops some gold, then some more gold.

Animal husbandry finishes and I discover I have no horses. There aren’t even any horses in settling range. Looks like I’ll have to obtain them by conquest, and looks like I’ll have to accomplish the conquest with something other than chariots. How about axemen!? I start on Bronze Working.

In 3400, the worker comes out of Moscow to pasture the sheep while I start on a barracks. In 3320, villagers teach the Russians agriculture – a welcome tech given the poverty of food on the map.

In 3080, I finish Bronze Working. Dang, no copper in easy reach. In fact, there aren’t many resources at all over in my corner of the world.

By now I’ve met my first vict - um, closest neighbor – Napoleon, Moscow switches from barracks to settler while I move on to research iron working. In 2200 BC, one of my scouts finds out that Napoleon has horses and has already pastured them.

The Russians want those horses. One of my scouts even looks like he’s ready to pounce on them. By this time, I’ve also met Gandhi and Hatshepsut, who originate out in the east.

In 2120 BC, I found St. Petersburg, which immediately gets to work on a barracks.

The next turn I finish researching Iron Working, and, lo and behold, there is iron at Moscow.

If there was no iron, my plan was to send a settler way out to claim the nearest copper, which was just south of Paris. If Napoleon had already settled it, which was likely, I’d have to build a whole messload of archers. Mercifully, I didn’t need to do that. I guess if there was no iron it would have been an extreme, rather than a gentle, adventure.

My worker immediately stops whatever he was doing and goes to mine the iron, while Moscow builds another worker. After Iron Working I research Writing. After the worker, Moscow gets to work on a swordsman. St. Pete is still working on its barracks. My workers are busy building a road to Paris for my future swordsmen, but they also help St. Pete’s barracks along with a little clear-cutting.

Incidentally, one of the first things I noticed about this continent was how heavily forested it is. I’ve never seen this much forest on a map before. Free hammers!

Moscow and St. Pete were geared towards production. So, in 1440, I founded Novgorod to help with my commerce, a very nice coastal site with flood plains. I was now researching fishing to take advantage of the fish in Novgorod’s radius.

(Side note: From now on I’m not going to detail my tech path. Suffice it to say that after writing I made straight for Code of Laws, and afterwards favored the production/military techs with an eye also on being first to Liberalism and grabbing Military Tradition.)

In 1120, Napoleon requested an audience, offering open borders. Maybe he saw my lone swordsman, who had just reached the outskirts of Paris the turn before. Of course, my swordsman did want to pass through his borders, just not in a very friendly way. He declares war, marches on Paris and is stunned to find it defended by a single archer. He takes the city.

An auspicious way to start the war. Of course, two French axemen are right there waiting to take it back, so I guess I’ll have to take Paris the old fashioned way – i.e., with more than one swordman. I have Moscow building swordmen and St. Pete building swordmen and axemen. Meanwhile, my workers are on a clearcutting campaign to get the swords and axes out as quickly as possible. I may not have many resources, but one thing I do have a lot of is forest and I intend to cut down as much of it as I can and then farm what’s beneath.

My first axeman heads down to Orleans to cut off the French copper supply, while swordsmen begin massing before Paris.

In 500 BC, I founded Confucianism in St. Petersburg.

But I don’t care about religion. The Russians will remain unconverted, forest-chopping, war mongering heathens. But they will be law abiding heathens. Courthouses will be handy, as the French cities are quite some distance from Moscow.

In 350 BC, I capture Paris the real old fashioned way – with an axeman!

Lyons falls in 150 BC.

Rheims is destroyed in 50 BC.

Orleans captured in 175 AD.

As soon as I have alphabet, in 250 AD, I make a profitable, though temporary, peace, leaving Napoleon with a single city.

Then I looked around for a trade. Hatshepsut was pleased with me. Probably a female thing. I used some of my plunder to barter with her for more techs – mathematics for polytheism and monarchy.

Remaining unconverted was a great strategy for this game. It had a dramatic effect on the diplomatic scene, making everyone cautious but disposed to be tipped towards pleased. As this was noble level and as I’d be acquiring plenty of happiness resources by conquest, I didn’t need religion for happiness. Since I’m creative, I didn’t need it for culture either. And I could pretty much play the field diplomatically, picking my enemies when it suited me, and keeping everyone in play as a trading partner.

In 350 AD, Rostov is founded where Rheims once stood, while I institute hereditary rule over the Russians.

In 425 AD, Napoleon has the audacity to demand that I cancel my open borders with Egypt. That Napoleon. He just can’t resist making demands, even when I’ve just relieved him of all his core cities and left him powerless. Ingrained habits die hard.

Meanwhile, I’ve got horse archers, and a couple of them are all set to take the barbarian city of Nubian. . .

. . . when Gandhi snakes me.

Obviously Gandhi will be my next victim. But first . . . my peace treaty with Napoleon expires. And you know what that means.

No more French.

Thanks to my no religion policy, Gandhi is also extremely friendly with me. I try to ignore this, because it just makes me feel guilty. Not so guilty that my horse archers won’t take advantage of our open borders agreement to scope out my future conquests.

In 860 AD, I finish researching Feudalism and immediately revolt to vassalage, which I’d keep for the duration of the game, and serfdom.

This is actually the first time I’ve ever used serfdom. It turned out to be extremely useful for this map and this game. First of all, there wasn’t really enough food to make slavery as great as it usually is. Also, I was expanding too quickly for my poor workers. And there was the added advantage that serfdom would double the speed of my deforestation campaign, resulting in more units with which to acquire more forest to produce more units to . . . Did I mention that I fully intended to denude this marvelously forested continent?

On his scouting mission to the end of the earth, my horseman discovers that the earth contains another continent with the Japanese on it.

Meanwhile, as friendly as he is, Gandhi remains an annoyance.

First he stole a city from under my nose and then he settled behind my advancing border. I declared war on him a few turns later.

In AD 1100 I got my first ever great person, a prophet in Moscow, whom I used to build the Kong Miao in St. Pete. I think in my last game I had gotten at least 4 great people by this year. It just wasn’t a priority in this game and I didn’t run many specialists. I just cut down forest for infrastructure and units, farmed every plains tile, cottaged the grassland and floodplains, and let my cities grow and prosper.

Bangalore fell in 1140.

Nubian, the barb city Gandhi stole from under my nose, fell in 1200.

Bombay fell not long after. In 1270, I captured Delhi, which came with three workers. They knew just what to do – make farms and chop forests.

Both Bombay and Delhi came with wonders.

After taking Delhi, I made peace with Gandhi for Literature and Drama.

Even after taking his capital and some of his best cities, Gandhi was still willing to trade. I gave him guilds for Theology and Compass. What did I care? He had no horses. A few turns later he also offered open borders. Sorry, Gandhi, that just wouldn’t make sense. By 1400, peace had expired, and the Russians were back for more, this time with knights.

Meanwhile, my caravels had discovered another civilization lurking out there in the darkness – the Greeks, cut off from civilization, stuck on an island with Japan.

Look how far behind he is in tech. I guess that’s what happens when you’re cut off from the world on an ice age map with Topkugawa as your neighbor. Alex really got screwed with his start position.

In 1500, I go to Egypt, looking for a trade. Hatty likes me so much she gives me Music for free. It’s good to be heathen.

In 1520, having taken all of Gandhi’s cities but one, I make peace. All he has to offer is Divine Right, but he’s not willing to part with it. I guess he’s willing to chance elimination just to get the Spiral Minaret. I make peace anyway, since I don’t have any galleys with which to conveniently reach his new capital.

After the peace, my galleys start heading east from Moscow/Novgorod. By the time they get there, the peace should be expiring.

Meanwhile, I circumnavigated the globe in 1525, and a few turns later got another prophet, whom I decided to keep around for a golden age. In 1570, I was first to Liberalism, grabbing Military Tradition as my free tech.

I was about to have Cossacks. No more slow moving siege engines for the Russians! Things would go very quickly now. I never had an official religion the entire game, so after Liberalism it made sense to revolt to free religion.

In 1580, I finished Gandhi off.

I kept the city, though it was largely useless.

Then it was Roosevelt’s turn. He had committed the cardinal sin of settling in places he should have known I would want for myself. Portland was one of these.

St. Louis another.

St. Louis was a really annoying city, and illustrates well how the logic of AI settling can result in poor city placement. Roosevelt had settled one tile off the coast in the middle of the ice, just so there *would* be two furs in its fat cross, *if* his borders were to pop in isolation. Of course, those furs were comfortably within the borders of an old city founded (or conquered in this case) by a creative civilization. The only way he’d get them in St. Louis would be to destroy my city.

Obviously I realize the AI doesn’t consider such niceties when founding cities. Still, I’ve got a narrative going; and in my narrative, Roosevelt is being presumptuous and attempting to challenge Russian might. In my narrative, St. Louis was a silly city, founded for suspicious strategic reasons. (It makes the game more fun for me to think like this.)

Also, our relations, while fair before, had soured of late due to our newly shared border. As a result, in 1620, Roosevelt cancelled open borders. This suited me just fine. In 1640, my Cossacks leapt into action, destroying Portland.

The next turn, I captured Khazak, an old barbarian city south of Delhi.

I took Washington in 1660, and San Francisco in 1665, acquiring more wonders.

In 1670, St. Louis was destroyed. It would later be replaced by my own city, founded on the coast.

Boston fell in 1685. (It would later flip to Egypt, but it wasn’t Hatty’s fault. She can’t help it if she’s creative.)

By 1725, America was eliminated.

Instead of being dragged down by new conquests, my income had actually jumped thanks to my acquiring the Colossus, which really is a terrific wonder. Funnily enough, it would be obsolete in 5 turns. But I couldn’t milk it, as Astronomy was vital to my plans. The only other AI left on my continent was Egypt, whom I could have rapidly over-run with my huge ultrapromoted band of funny-hatted cavalry. But Hatty had been good to me. We’d been on friendly terms since the very beginning. Unlike Napoleon, she wasn’t sitting on necessary resources. Unlike Gandhi, she never stole a city from under my nose. Unlike Roosevelt, she never tried to build cities where she shouldn’t have. She had even given me music for free. We had a kind of female solidarity thing going. I felt it would be dishonorable to attack her, even though it would have made my victory much quicker. That meant only one thing. To Japan! Really, does one ever need an excuse to attack Tokugawa?

In 1755, I got my third great person, a scientist in Delhi. He and my incredibly aged prophet started a golden age – a golden age of galleon building. Here you can see my Cossacks, just chomping at the bit to get to Japan.

Just as soon as I have a few more galleons, boys.

My decision to let Hatty live was validated when I saw this.

So Tokugawa is Hatty’s worst enemy. What a coincidence! Mine too! My relations with Egypt have turned to cautious, because I had revolted to Universal Suffrage (thanks to conquered pyramids). Hatty just loves that hereditary rule. But in 1810, when I declared war on Japan, she joined me for free, and our relationship was good again.

Here are some clips to illustrate the progress of the war against Japan in its early stages.

The landing.

The initial conquests.

Then I stopped taking screenshots. The result was a foregone conclusion. In 1828 I completed my one wonder – the Kremlin, in Orleans. I actually made use of it to rushbuy improvements in the American and Japanese cities I conquered. In 1856, just as my Cossacks were about to finish off Japan by capturing an offshore island, a few borders popped in my Japanese conquests and I reached domination.

Catherine now ruled the world in a dual matriarchy, with Hatty as junior partner. They still had Alex around as their whipping boy. And they allowed Tokugawa, as was fitting, to remain stuck on a little island at the edge of the world, hoarding his backward techs with zenophobic zeal.

The End.

This game was a lot of fun. I ended up using every era’s military units, something I got used to doing on Marathon speed, but had never really managed on Standard. This gave the game good variety and made the conquests less boring.

I also learned a few things. First – sometimes it’s nice to not have to think too hard, to not worry about wonders or city specialists, and to just let your cities grow and engage in an unabashed spree of a33-kicking. Secondly, Cossacks are ridiculously good. I haven’t played as the Russians yet in Warlords, but my understanding is that the Cossack’s power has been curtailed somehow. That seems fair.